Tired: The value of a true friend
I’m tired of everything. All I want is rest. It’s the most precious thing in my life right now. Next is an understanding friend, a friend who truly cares for you and listens endlessly to your rants and problems however long or tiring or boring they are.
There’s someone who’s waiting for me all along. God. Jesus. Yahweh. Lord. My bestfriend who tirelessly listens and patiently waits for me to come to him.
I read the bible, yes. I pray every night before sleeping and waking up in the morning. But my spirit is not heads and arms down to worship Him.
I miss you. I know you miss me more than I miss you. I’m sorry I’ve only been coming to you when I have problems or when I feel sad. I know you’re always there for me, I’m just not recognizing your presence. You truly are my friend. You were always there when I needed you. Though I’ve been committing sins, you’re always there ready to forgive me, hug me, and kiss me as if nothing happened. I’m sorry for all the mistakes I’ve committed to you, to my parents, my family, and my friend/s. But Lord, I need you right now. I need your comfort. You are my strength. I am weak.
I love you Lord. I’m sorry.
The most random article ever.
I’ve got a lot of dreams that I and anyone would want to achieve. This life is really precious. And I’ve been given and blessed of all I want or ever needed to achieve these dreams in life.
I’ve done a lot of mistakes. Not just to one, but to a lot of people I’ve met in my life. I may not have given all my efforts or sacrificed a lot but I think I’ve done my best, to the most I can offer.
When I think of the word ‘parents’ there’s an automatic production of salty water from my eyes. I can’t help but grab an absorbent paper to remove this wetness on my face. When I think of them, I would like to purge all my impurities and take it back to the past. But no, what’s done is done and I can’t do anything to change it.
I’ve been the worst daughter, sister, friend, classmate, orgmate, room mate, and all the kinds of mate in the world. But everytime my emotion strikes in, all I can do is to go with the flow and then regret afterwards. It’s a cycle.
Now I’m thinking I have a brain or emotional problem. One spark and it will turn me into the craziest person you could ever see in your entire life.
This happens when you don’t have anyone to talk to. Well, actually, I have a lot to talk to but none of them meets my needs. I honestly need a psychiatrist or a TRUE, REAL, AND EXISTING BESTFRIEND. No kidding.
When depression seeps in.
They say when you want to die, you wouldn’t want anyone to know or stop you.
My tearducts are always full, of tears. When I cry every night it seemed endless. You just feel you want to end the sadness when your head aches as if wanting to turn your whole body inside out.
This one’s different coz I’m posting it online, meaning everyone in the world wide web can read this. But this letter is only for some. I don’t want to call it a last farewell or a closing remark but an apology letter - for all those people I’ve hurt, or I had made a mistake to.
Pretty weird coz I’m now on the stage of doubt. A lot of people would say that this is a sign of weakness, but no. Those people have not been into this kind of situation. If you’ve been here, you’d know that it takes a lot of courage to do this kind of stuff, coz it’s hard. Maybe at first yes, you’d be afraid, but eventually you’d know it’s all worth it.
A lot of thoughts are going on my mind right now. What will happen if this will all work out? What if not? What will be the life ahead of me if I decided to do otherwise? Will it be a happy-ever-after kind of thing? Or have I been the Cruela Devila for most of my life?
This would be really long, so I would like to cut this in here. Will post the continuation afterwards.
My ‘Challenge Accepted’ version
Obviously, I’ve been watching movies more than reading books, and I’m watching series more than movies. Here’s a list of my everything:
Movies I liked and watched this year:
Series. I’ve watched all of this already:
Movies and series reviews to follow!
Start of something new.
This would be my personal blog slash journal slash my own website where I can post my rants and some blurbs. I got the guts to have this site because of my fave series, Awkward; and because I’ll use it as a cabin where I can store all my thoughts and blahs. Cheers~
Blog's content is mainly about books, movies, photoshop art pieces, and the daily life of a college student. It is true that when you read a lot, you'd write a lot. I say the least possible words but it does say everything.
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Freakonomics by Steven Levitt & Stephen Dubner
since May 2012